Sunday, May 10, 2009

OPEN LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER

July, 1985. I went to see my physician for what I thought was a severe case of the flu and doubled as a follow up to a strep throat infection I recently had treated. Boy, was I in for the shock of my life. After routine procedure, the physican had a couple of questions for me. So, in my nonchalant way I answered them. The doc left the room and returned to inform your father and I that I was pregnant. Just like that, "You are pregnant...that is why you are feeling ill...I'd like you to get this prescription filled for vitamins...". I had tuned out at "pregnant". Never quite heard anything after that. Instantly, my life changed. I learned of you right in the middle of attending college, planning goals, life and a career. I was so scared. I was petrified. I thought, what am I going to do? I knew I couldn't panic because in the instant my life changed, I was worried about you! I knew I had to try to keep my cool and think rationally. So, what did I do? I cried. That was the first of many more crying "spells". How rational is that? I wanted things to be perfect and right and I had some decisions to make QUICKLY. It took me less than 2 seconds to acknowledge my impending motherhood. I was going to be a Mother. I wanted to be the best one possible, so by the time I got home I already had a plan in place. I would eat right, not hang around smokers, stop going out to dance clubs, stop entertaining nonsense and stop engaging in anything that would affect how I brought you into the world. Afterall, I was preparing to be the best Mother I could be. My home environment was not the most stable one I must say. So, I moved into a small apartment and made it as comfortable as I could. I actually worked all the way up to two weeks before you were born. I can't begin to tell you how nervous I was though I had taken care of many children in my young life. I fed you healthy foods while I carried you and I apologize right now for the not so healthy. You had your share of Vienna Red Hot Polishes topped with the hottest peppers found in these parts. It's true. That along with two cans of ring pineapples a day was what I had to have. I was so sorry when I layed eyes on you and realized, your little system was just not prepared for all that garbage I ate the night I went into labor (A combo mix of Hot Stuff Potato Chips/Doritos/Cheese Popcorn with a Welch's Grape Soda and that was only behind Chinese Food, Tuna & Oatmeal----I know disgusting right?). But, you taught me to not be selfish when I did become a Mother. That labor episode lasted from 9:30 p.m. until 5:57 a.m. At 5:58 when I was able to put my eyes on your face, I had yet ANOTHER crying episode. The moment you cried, so did I. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard. I had become a bonafide MOTHER. Your father in his effort to support me during the delivery tried to offer comfort, but he himself was overwhelmed when he saw you. He assisted the doc and was so proud that he held you before I did. I could not wait to hold you. Nothing mattered in the world to me anymore because I had you and I knew my quest to be the perfect Mother was on. Fast fowarding, you started walking on me. Literally, you scrambled up my legs to get in my arms. Funniest thing ever. You were so tiny and fiesty! Barely ten months old. I used to wonder, what kid does this? Then, you starting singing to me. ~Let me tell you how I feel bout you night and day...~ Al B. Sure had a hit single that made you wiggle, dance and sing. So funny! The books I read to you...I still have them. Your very first book, you read back to me at right around 18 months old. It's true! How can I forget how sweet you sounded when you said, "Cape Capes and Sausage Please-No Ro Ros Mommy" in your request for breakfast! So, Pancakes & Sausage-no Cheerios it was. And the peeled grapes and watermelon that I had to make sure no seeds were in! Cocoa Beauty, you had me making sure you had your snacks in front of you before Sesame Street came on! Fast fowarding, you threw a tantrum in Kohl's Department store because the outfit I picked for you was "ugly". Your words, "It's uggggggly". Just because it did not have matching ribbons, barrettes and socks. The color was a different kind and hard to find at that store Ms. Lady. Wheeeeewww, just a mess! Fast fowarding, you went to Louisana for the summer. I was sick every day about it. It seemed like the summer was two decades without my Baby! How am I supposed to be the best Mother I can be if you are down there in the Bayou catching frogs and firing shots in a makeshift range? Fast forwarding, you joined the high school track team. My my my...all those years of putting you in sports programs actually paid off! So cool, calm and collected before the starter pistol popped. Then, you got all grown with your lil job at Fun World. Hilarious. Got your lil paycheck and couldn't wait to go shopping. Got the nails and hair done. Just too grown. Then you hot tailed it to Parkside. Slipped right past me on your way to college and got all "Sisterly" with the Deltas. Fast fowarding, now you are planning your wedding. Okay, I am crying. Must be one of those spells that comes along with being a Mother! Who would have thought that I would let anyone get close enough to you to steal you away from me? Well, I must say I am still seeking to be the most ultimate Mother I can possibly be. Happy Mother's Day to me. I celebrate it every day! It has been an extreme pleasure and I would do it all over again if I were promised you! I love you so much Pumpkin! YEJIDE! And that is a beautiful thing! LOL (The throwback is of you at right around 2 months old and below is at the First Saturdays Comedy Show we surprised you with. We got you good for your birthday! Comedian B-Flat & Your Best Friend!)



8 comments:

Joshua Johnson said...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO A TRULY GREAT MOM AND MAMA IN LAW..... I am so glad and grateful that you are a mother. Without you I wouldn't have the best thing that has happened to me in my life, your daughter. You both have been a blessing. I pray that one day we both can be just as good of parents as you have been.. Love you mama in law...

YOUR DAUGHTER said...

ok so I'm still crying...TEAR! Thank you mommy so much for being th strongest more supportive mother who has went far and beyond to the ends of the freakin earf to be a great mother! If I could chop off a toe or a a cheek or give you my last tooth lol it still wouldn't be enough! You have given me an awesome example to follow! One day I may reward you with a grandbaby lol...MAYBE!!! Love you with all my heart, soul, breath and burp I have in me lol! LOVE YOU GUL!

heavenlymade said...

happy mother's day to you. even though i haven't been blessed to birth my own child, i read and cried with you through you tribute to motherhood. God bless you tody and everyday.

rita

Amba said...

Aaw. That was really touching. You are such a wonderful mother, it's so clear. I haven't visited your blog in ages so missed the wedding news. A big congratulations!!!

Naturally Sophia said...

Oh my gosh! Simply beautiful!

*~RBG~* said...

That was, simply put, beautiful! Happy (belated) Mother's Day from one proud mom to another! :-)

BlaqKofi said...

Wow! What a beautiful tribute. Your daughter is one blessed young woman. Thanks so much for sharing such a beautiful story of unselfish love and motherhood.

Maryee said...

Much love and peace to you and your entire family!

Blessings,

Maryee